You get that knot in your stomach. Something feels off, but you can't tell what it means. Is your gut warning you about something real? Or is this just your anxiety, your past, your "trust issues" talking again?
So you do one of two things. You talk yourself out of it completely. I'm being dramatic. Maybe I'm the problem. Or you spiral, questioning every feeling until you're too overwhelmed to decide anything at all.
If you've ever been stuck there, you're not alone. Your intuition and your trauma can feel almost identical in your body. But they're not the same, and you can learn to tell them apart.
The Time I Called My Trauma "Intuition"
Years ago, I finally got the courage to leave a really bad relationship. I packed the car and everything. And then I went back.
I wasn't blindsided. My body was talking to me the whole time. I felt the uncertainty, the knot, the is this a good idea? But I told myself maybe it was my intuition leading me back to my family. I convinced myself the discomfort was proof I was being brave, the strong one holding everything together.
I was completely wrong. And the hardest part wasn't his betrayal. It was my betrayal of myself.
Why Your Gut and Your Trauma Can Feel the Same
Both your intuition and your trauma response live in your nervous system. Both can show up as a knot in your stomach, a tight chest, or that sense that something is off. The difference is what's driving the signal.
Your nervous system's job is to protect you. When it's been through a lot, it can sound the alarm when there isn't a real threat. Or it can do the opposite and talk you right past a real one.
Think about dating someone who cancels plans last minute, twice, with a reason that's almost believable. Then he's extra sweet and promises to make it up to you. When a friend asks, "Isn't that a red flag?" you hear yourself say, "I'm probably just anxious because of my past." That's the override. The other version is the spiral, where you question every text until the overthinking creates problems that may not even be there.
How Trauma Disguises Itself as Intuition
Trauma rarely announces itself. If you've experienced complex trauma, meaning lots of significant moments that added up over time instead of one big event, your choices can be shaped by patterns you can't see in the moment.
Looking back, my decision to go back wasn't really about my gut. My parents separated when I was two, and my son was two when I left his dad. I had a long history of unsafe relationships, so I didn't know what secure even felt like. And I didn't trust myself to make good decisions. What felt familiar felt "right," even though it wasn't safe.
Shame can wear the costume of intuition too. If you're stuck in a loop of I can't make a mistake or everyone will think I'm stupid, that's not your gut. That's fear of getting it wrong.
And even after real healing, you won't always get it right. About five years ago, I told a business coach, "I don't think I'm ready for your program." She convinced me otherwise. I was right, and it cost me. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know until you know it.
When Excitement Feels Like Danger
There's a story often told in radically open dialectical behavior therapy (RO DBT) about two girls walking down the street who come across a big, loud crowd. One says, "It's a party, let's go!" The other says, "It's a mob, we need to run!"
Same crowd. Same noise. Completely different meaning.
Excitement and anxiety feel very similar in the body. And some of us are just wired to register more intensity. If you're a highly sensitive person or tend to lean anxious, your nervous system may read "mob" even when your brain can see it's a party.
5 Ways to Tell Intuition From Anxiety or Trauma
1. Know what safety feels like in your body first
You need a baseline to compare against. What does safety feel like for you? Calm? Light? Like things can flow through you instead of feeling rigid? Don't just describe the opposite ("I'm not tense"). Name what you do feel. A list of body sensation words can help. (If knowing things in your head comes easier than feeling them in your body, From Knowing to Feeling is a good next read.)
2. Ask whether the danger fits the facts
When something feels off, ask: Does this feel familiar in a way that's triggering danger? Are old experiences coming up? Does that danger fit what's actually in front of me right now? Sometimes the honest answer is "I don't know yet," and that's okay. Gathering more information is a valid next step.
3. Look at the pattern, not just the moment
Does this feeling show up with everyone, in every similar situation? Or only with one specific person or situation? If it's everywhere, it may be your nervous system on high alert from the past. If it's specific, pay close attention.
4. Check what's driving the overthinking
Notice whether you're asking out of curiosity or fear. Then ask: Does this line up with my values? Can I be at peace with it? If it's the "wrong" choice, then what? Walking through the worst-case scenario often shows you there's still a way out.
5. Remember a time your gut was right
Think of a time you trusted yourself and it turned out right. What did that feel like in your body? Now think of a time you ignored the signs. What did you talk yourself out of? Comparing the two helps you recognize your real gut faster. And remember, trusting yourself doesn't mean zero doubt. Absolute certainty doesn't exist.
The Reclaim Reminder
Here's the hill I will die on: your real intuition will never lead you toward self-abandonment. It won't lead you to stay in unsafe or abusive situations. It leads you toward safety, security, and your values.
Self-trust isn't always making the right decision. It's knowing that no matter what, you've got your own back. You can pivot without shaming yourself.
If you're ready to really dig into this, Reclaim Your Steady is my 12-week signature program for women who are done coping and ready to change the patterns underneath. We work on exactly this: learning the difference between true signals of safety and true signals of threat, and rebuilding trust with your body. Our next group starts in January 2027, and you can apply to get on the waitlist here.
Don't want to wait? Her Steady Circle is my monthly nervous system membership for high-functioning women who are done holding it all together by themselves. Every Monday you get a short practice to help you tune back into what your body is telling you, plus a monthly live coaching call with me and a community of women who get it. The first 7 days are free. See what's inside Her Steady Circle.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if it's my intuition or my anxiety?
Start by knowing what safety feels like in your body, so you have something to compare against. Then ask if the feeling is familiar in a way that triggers danger, and whether that danger fits the facts in front of you. If the feeling shows up with everyone and everywhere, it may be your nervous system on high alert from past experiences.
Can trauma feel like intuition?
Yes. Trauma can convince you to ignore real red flags, or it can sound the alarm when there's no real threat. One clear sign: your true intuition won't lead you toward self-abandonment or keep you in unsafe situations.
Why can't I trust my gut?
If you've experienced complex trauma, codependency, or a lot of past choices you regret, self-trust takes time to rebuild. It grows in small moments of noticing what you feel, staying with the unknown, and having your own back no matter what you choose.
Alyssa Booth is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Women's Nervous System Coach with 12+ years in the mental health field. She's the creator of the RECLAIM Method™, a trauma-informed framework that helps high-functioning, over-functioning women get out of survival mode and actually feel like themselves again. She's been featured in New York Magazine's The Cut, Delish, and Force Magazine, and she works with women who look strong on the outside but are struggling behind closed doors. If that's you, you're in the right place.
👉 Learn more about working with Alyssa
